Thoughts of a Random Nature

Today was one of those days. A day where nothing really went the way I thought it would and Murphy’s Law was waiting for me around every corner. Let’s see, this morning I ended up pulling myself out of consideration for a job after I realized I didn’t want to do it and it would probably make me miserable. In addition, my stomach hurt, I’m tired, can barely lift my arms from working out hard yesterday, and I knew I wanted to write today (I’m not letting this blog fall by the wayside!) but I had no idea what to talk about until about 3 hours ago, when someone suggested I make my not-too-pleasant day today’s post. When you have lemons, make lemonade, right?

I promise this isn’t going to be some whiny, angst-ridden post about all that’s went wrong the past 12 hours. We all have days like that and we learn to deal with them. Even though today was a bummer, I’m not going to spend any more time after I publish this post thinking about it. For all of the sulking I wanted to do (and did indulge myself in for a little bit) I know that my problems are relatively trivial.

When I’m in all-out pity party mode, the last five words I want to hear are: look at the bright side. But that’s exactly what I’m doing tonight, because I’m starting to realize the futility in being miserable over things that are done and can’t be changed. For instance, the job in which i took myself out of the running. The good thing is: I made that decision instead of them telling me, “Well, thanks for applying.” It felt good to be in control and know for sure what I wanted (or in this case, didn’t want). At one point, probably not too long ago, I would have taken the job even though I knew it was not a job that fit my strengths well, just because I wouldn’t have had the courage to speak my mind and tell the manager, “Thanks but no thanks.” I also would’ve rationalized the decision to take the job in my head even though after learning more this morning, I felt immediately it was not for me.  With my stomach hurting, I can go get some aspirin. With being tired, I need to get off Facebook and Twitter and go take a nap. With soreness, well I’m getting myself into shape. And it’s going to hurt but I’ll be happy I went through it in a few months when my arms are ripped . With no topic to write about, I managed to turn a crappy day into a blog post.

Strangely enough, while writing all of this I realize my day may not have been so bad after all. My biggest issue (job) was actually a result of me being assertive and refusing to settle. Perhaps I was seeing a mirage or something today because I definitely don’t think it was Murphy’s Law.

How do you deal with bad days? Have you ever found the bright spots in one?

J

Before I start let me preface by saying this. I put up this picture of the moon because I think it’s a beautiful and amazing sight. Even though this post is about human beauty and its effect in society, I just wanted to put this up instead

I was reading an article one day and the author was talking about the process of finding a job. A girl she knew had gotten a plum writing position and she argued that, despite the young woman’s credentials and education, the job had went to her mainly because she was attractive. This sparked serious outrage in the comment section but the author held her ground (which I commend her for). It was a bold statement that was met indignantly. How dare someone, in this day and age, declare that a pretty girl had gotten a job because she was good-looking? What about all of her more substantial attributes, such as her education, experience, and writing skills?

Not too surprisingly most of the anger came from women. But the theory of a woman getting ahead on her looks also came from a woman, which I found interesting. And I honestly can’t argue with her. I don’t like to admit it, but yes my first impressions often come from a person’s looks. If they’re more attractive I’m probably going to think higher of them than someone I find average or not so good-looking. I think the reason this comment touched a nerve is because there’s a stigma attached to a woman advancing due to her physical features. Some of us women (myself included) would rather our looks be the last thing a person focuses on. What about my intelligence, resume, personality, etc.? If I’m a writer how I look is not going to determine how I do my job.

I can’t speak for other women, but I sometimes have a hard time accepting my looks and how that’s probably helped me in life. I like the way I look but I’ve often heard mean things like “Oh she thinks she’s cute” and given the side-eye. And I won’t lie, it hurts occasionally. Especially if you’re not a person who thinks you’re all that. So what do you do? Well there’s only so much you can do because you can’t change how people think. But I try to be as nice as I can because it can sting when people are dismissive towards you and believe you’re a stuck-up bitch. I’ve seen women treat other women badly over something as trivial as having long hair (sad but true).

I think it’s interesting that beauty is both shunned and desired in our society. Those who are believed to be beautiful can find it hard to form relationships because others look at them as having glided through life on their looks. It’s desired because of the perks it may bring, such as attention and easier to get jobs or promotions.  For all of the mud the author of that article I read had thrown at her, she was right. No matter what, we as people are going to use looks as a determining factor in if we like someone, whether we hire them, etc. It may not be the only factor but it’s in there. And I think the reason so many women we’re upset was because they want to believe their other characteristics are more important. It touched a nerve that that woman came out and said what we all basically know. Some people get things (in this case a job) because they’re attractive. Point blank.

Do you think we as a society still place a huge importance on looks?

J

With all of the hoopla and festivities in Indy (SB46!) this past week I’ve been preoccupied with hanging out downtown at the expense of blogging/writing. Now that all of the excitement is over, the celebrities have flown out, and trash is being picked up, I’m back to business.

A few days ago I was watching a new show on MTV, I Just Want My Pants Back. This show is about a guy who literally wants his pants back after he sleeps with a woman who steals them. Looking past this odd plot, the show features a group of post-college students who are very educated yet underemployed. This doesn’t seem to bother them because they are more interested in finding a career that ignites passion instead of sitting around working for “green bits of paper”.

When I saw this show, my first thought was that the characters were lame and acted kind of douchey. I consider myself intelligent and “environmental sustainability” (discussed on the show) is a topic even I would have a hard time introducing into conversation. My second thought was that I hope I don’t sound like them, whining about wanting a career that’s “fulfilling” and deluding myself into believing I can really make it as a writer (I’m sure I’m the only English major with that goal ). Then I realized there’s nothing wrong with wanting a job that you will actually like most of the time. Wanting a job where you can help someone or make an impact should be considered a good thing.

I’ve written about this before, because it’s a recurring theme in my life right now (and I’m sure some of you too). It’s a common struggle. Do I pursue what I want or what’s sensible? Is there any age where it’s just not feasible? I’ve gotten a sense that fancying yourself an actress or astronaut are fine when you’re a kid, but as you grow older people ask, “So what do you really want to do?” Why is there this notion that childhood dreams must remain just that?

I believe one good thing that came out of the Great Recession is that it sparked an entrepreneurial and creative spirit in several people. Suddenly lifelong dreams people had were no longer put on the back burner because of their job. So many great businesses have been created because there was nothing to lose.

Rapper J. Cole stated in a recent article that, “I never ever once considered going to get a real job with my degree. I felt like if I did that, I was defeating myself and throwing in the towel on my dream.” When I read this article I identified with this quote. I’m asked all the time when I’m going to “do” something with my English degree, as if I have to be sitting in a cubicle at a computer for 8 hours a day to do that (no offense to anyone who does). I use my degree whenever I speak, write, or read. Getting a “real job” doesn’t validate a degree. I’ve simply chosen to use the skills I honed for 4 years to pursue the dream I had when I was a 10-year-old girl sitting at our IBM computer churning out stories on my summer vacation.

Do you have any childhood dreams you refuse to give up on?

J