Thoughts of a Random Nature

The title of this post is inspired after the book of the same name by Rosalind Wiseman. The book also inspired the movie Mean Girls, which also crossed my mind while writing this.

High school is long behind me (seven years this May). There’s much I miss about school, mostly three month vacations, but at the same time there’s much I’d rather not remember. Though I didn’t have any Carrie-like experiences, I can’t say it was the best four years of my life, as many people claim. Instead I was basically invisible. Sure I had acquaintances and I was cool with people from all kinds of groups, but at the same time I always felt like an outcast. I didn’t belong to any group.

Isn’t that a good thing? Yes and no. I definitely believe groups stifle individuality and personality. But on the other side of the coin, who doesn’t want to belong? Although I’ve learned to deal with it and cherish the personal freedoms that come from not being tied to a clique, it still manages to get under my skin.

Yes I’m nearly 30 years old and there’s a sting left when I find out there are things I’ve not been invited to, even though I’m supposedly cool with these people. And it bothers me that it I’m even annoyed. If these aren’t people that I share any actual connection or friendship with then why do I even care? That’s a question I cannot answer. Deep down I recognize the group for what it is: a leader (the queen bee) and a bunch of wannabes who are clamoring simultaneously for her approval and to be just like her. I don’t want any of that but being excluded takes me back to my days as a socially awkward teenager. Days I’d rather visit only through taking a peek at pictures and yearbooks.

As my dad says, the real world is nothing but school all over again. How right he was.

Were you part of a group in high school? Do you ever feel like “the real world” mirrors high school in some ways?

J