“Brush off the clouds and cheer up, put on a happy face…”
These lyrics, from the song “Put on a Happy Face”, are a prime example of sunny American optimism. Is there anything wrong with looking at the bright side or seeing the glass half-full instead of half-empty? Of course not. Focusing on the positive is sometimes the key ingredient to getting through hard times. But does there come a point when it’s not positive thinking as much as it is creating delusions for yourself?
Recently I came across the book Bright-Sided by Barbara Ehrenreich. In this book she explores this idea in great detail and how the idea of only focusing on the positives has permeated throughout American culture, from megachurches to the dealing with diseases such as cancer. The book The Secret was a massive success and advised readers that “negative thoughts attract negative energy” and that “thoughts become things”. While I certainly believe that having strong positive beliefs will help you immensely when you’re trying to achieve a goal, is it really of any help to completely ignore the fact that negative things happen? Relentless positivity doesn’t stop bad things from happening, it just makes one inept at dealing with it. I believe there is a difference between seeing the bright side of a positive situation and believing that your thoughts can control everything. Because honestly, if all of this were true, wouldn’t we all be living the life of Riley right now?
Why are books that teach endless positivity such a hit in our culture? I don’t know but I do know that it is an easy train of thought to get caught up in. It feels good to hear that you can be anything, have anything, overcome anything you want simply by having the mental fortitude. But success is often the end of a long path that included doubt, rejection, and setbacks. What do you do when you believe with all of your heart that you’re gonna get that job and you don’t? Sure it hurts but you figure, that’s life and keep it moving. But what if you never considered the possibility that it might not happen, because after all, thinking of a negative outcome could actually make it come true? I think you set yourself up for more disappointment because you deluded yourself into thinking things could only go your way.
If you’re talking to someone who’s dealing with an illness, whether mental or physical, telling them to get themselves together and be positive can come off as insensitive and condescending. Too much positivity can cause some to think that a medical condition can be corrected simply by positive thoughts. Sometimes showing frustrations when ill is interpreted as “giving in” to it. While it is good to be in good spirits when sick, it helps a lot to actually deal with the illness, such as through therapy and support groups.
I wish a lot of these self-help and mind-over-matter books would go away. But they won’t because it’s so attractive to feel like all you have to do is have a happy state of mind and you can get whatever you want in life. Unfortunately this isn’t reality. Circumstances can go whichever way and often times it has nothing to do with thoughts or energy. I used to be an optimist but lately I feel like I’ve become a realist. While I’d rather think about the good and positive, I accept and understand that negative things do happen and I refuse to believe it’s because I didn’t believe hard enough. It’s life.
Have any of you noticed this trend of overwhelming positivity? What do you think about it?
J
Tags: positive thinking, self-help